El largo invierno acaba

(March, 2015)

Attempting to leave behind all of it
the anger, the inability to forgive-
I bathe and put on something new
I purge my body of everything toxic

How do we live as if the winter was not
how do I go on pretending you did not bruise me-
so I go, I sear with fire and cauterize the wounds
so I go, I remember how to let go of the list of wrongs

Without letting go of the wonder, the miracle
as spring takes over my house, as love fills
the empty heart chambers, still sore
and I weep for what is lost – this day

I tell you, this day is for weeping, for what
could have, should have, would’ve been-
looking for purity of heart, something
nobler than good intentions

But tomorrow, tomorrow the weeping will be put away
life allowed to flourish, love allowed to nourish-
tomorrow will be today, and the anger swept up, tucked away
put in the bin for the burning, the burning of the last

The last remains of winter

 

words as life

the words
procreated
virgin birth
escaped into
the arctic air
weaving in a wild
frantic dance
of cotton candy
a vision
most sweet

frigid air
into the lungs
coming out as clouds
obscuring
my crooked mouth
flirting
with the thought
that my words
might
summon spring

Monday Random: winter

00lacytree.jpg

When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn’t imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.

-Phil, Groundhog Day

  • One of my grown children has announced she might never return or at least live full-time again with four intense seasons like Chicago has. I think she meant winter.
  • It is clear that one’s tolerance or intolerance of winter is directly related to age of the car and ability to pay for good tires and repairs.
  • My body is confused about how to feel with yet another bout of warm weather in February. There is this ominous- how far is this climate change going to go- vs. hot damn it’s 65F, let’s go play!
  • Once a year I experience a walk through the first big snow. Can be very romantic – palpable -the crisp, clean feeling- the snow in my hair. Not being a ski-er or skater it loses it’s charm once I am driving.
  • If given the chance to move on,  would I leave four seasons for year-’round warm weather? I’m not  sure. I think winter makes spring that much sweeter.

snowdrops.jpg

Say you’ll never leave me

Peanut-butter and jelly on toast
and the end to all things
Lana del Rey crooning in a way
I have come to count upon

Eggs boiling-keeping simple
the room taking on a balmy
sultry foggy feeling
in the thick of mid-west winter

Shall we dance? Let us
make the best of it, with our
dead leaves to be raked
our car rusting up from the bottom

My sepia view of the yard
our birthdays looming, suddenly
less of a threat, doing their best
to be more of a promise