2 days, no sleep

pile_of_pillows

I tore up my fingers on that ring
grasping at what was not mine–
but I stole it–because it was his
and I wanted her not to have it

The late night snacking takes a toll
a lack of sleep notwithstanding
the gremlins that come out only at night
have found a niche under my skin
painful and soothing all at once

Over-thinking also has its price
this bat and ball are nothing to me now
I never did take to diamonds that well
but one time, there was an emerald
that caught my eye

I would have sold all I had for it
until I owned only that and none else
but that won’t feed anyone
and it won’t transport, or shower;
what once were needs are now desires

The tree top seemed out of reach
until waking up to fog I remembered
we must bend and stretch, and
no one gets a free ride
of government cheese for always

but with a little perseverance
I could have every dream fulfilled
if I only dream of mediocrity
and if I am not that hungry

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Monday Random

0autumn-beauty

  • I baked a chicken dish this week that was delicious.
  • Sadly I do not think I can repeat it, as I cooked as if I were painting or writing words, and wrote nothing down

balsamic chicken.jpg

  • Our local grocery had chicken quarters for 39 cents a pound, so I couldn’t resist, especially since that is my favourite part of the bird, especially the thighs
  • Hubby is a breast man
  • Basically it was salt, black pepper, chili powder, granulated garlic, onion powder, thyme, rosemary, basil, and turmeric. I basted it every half hour at 375F with bottled balsamic salad dressing.
  • It got all brown and sticky and moist, very rich. Great over rice.
  • NaNoWriMo is here once more
  • For the uninitiated, the idea is to write a 50k word novel in 30 days
  • From the past ventures, I have 1 rough draft and two unfinished novels
  • I can’t seem to finish
  • Is this laziness, or was I built more for sprints than long distance running?
  • Not giving up
  • Besides I need a break from sewing these little felt things I’ve been poking at for months now.
  • I really thought the craft show would go better, but it takes time to get how it all works and how to market oneself, even at a 6×3 foot table
  • Even after sending gifts I still have a good hundred at least of these little felt Christmas ornaments and key chains. The majority are keychains.
  • If you hit me up in e-mail or my contact page, and paypal me 25 bucks, I’ll send you a dozen assorted little bears and hearts and things, (US only) and for another five bucks, I’ll throw in an original poem signed by me
  • I really do have to recoup some of my material costs
  • Then I will start again
  • On the positive side, my sewing skills are getting better, and I have many new projects for the coming year
  • I am getting a bit of arthritis, and I never will forget my mother telling me the secret is to keep your fingers busy
  • If you get idle, they will get gnarled up and not work anymore for you
  • If they are kept industrious, they still might get gnarly in time, but they won’t stop working, and that’s what I want.
  • After all, I could live to be a hundred
  • So it is monday again, and at my house that means gray and rain and talk of snow at the end of the week
  • Illinois folks learn to be resilient so we are geared up with our mittens and our ice scrapers and drive on without a thought about snow before Thanksgiving.
  • Not a thought
  • (sob!)

Enjoy your Monday! It is the only one that will ever be just like today.

Here’s some kind of chill groove I have been listening to while writing this morning

Monday Random

  • A cool day after a hot spell is so great. I’m so excited I might make soup
  • I had to go to a funeral on Saturday. I did not know him well, but I know his family very well. He comes to mind often still. I am glad he’s not in pain
  • There is so much comfort in knowing he is out of misery and in Heaven
  • I love how He promises, ‘to be away from the body is to be present with the Lord.’  (2 Cor 5:8)
  • I’ve been writing daily, but still having trouble getting back into my novels. I don’t know what’s wrong.
  • Could I just be lazy, and not want to do the work? It’s something to consider.

Continue reading “Monday Random”

4 in a bed

I am too long awake
with my companions
greedy for my attention
impatience, and discontent
on my other side

Whimsy comes by
in a lavender tutu
and laughs at us
doing her best
with hand stands
and shadow puppets

Impatience wiggling
my big toe
while discontent
drives a truck full of words
through my brain

I am too long without sleep
delirium, will you
keep me from loneliness
as you pass over my body
closing my eye-lids
without warning

My list is my own list

 

My body is revolting. It is telling me things about the life I have lived and the myriad of ways I have abused it. I am 54. I could easily live 30 more years or more based on my health as I saw it 30 years ago. But now, I get warning signs. I lose friends. Friends younger than I are dying suddenly. I am surrounded by cancer.

Why have I written all these very not-cheerful words? Because we all have a time when we face ourselves. For some it is at 40. For others, 70. For me it was 50, but I ignored it until this past year. I became overly sentimental and mawkish about the smallest details. Everything meant something. A cough, a twinge, a sudden chill.

Continue reading “My list is my own list”

Monday Random

This is an old fashioned Monday Random in its purest form – a stream of consciousness – thoughts with no theme. Yesterday required a lot of talking. Today – everything I want to say is lined up in my mind like bullet points. So let’s get to it.

  • There is something to be said for pizza suppers with only two plates and two glasses to wash after I’ve left them overnight
  • Not paper plates because I don’t like to use many disposables
  • We are going on a trip this summer we cannot afford
  • To save money we are eating eggs at 2/3 meals and found this is a very easy way to cut down on grocery costs
  • Salsa is a great ingredient for putting tomatoes and onions in the eggs when I am out of produce
  • Plus you can’t get a good tomato in May
  • My mother’s day became very special with an unexpected phone call and I am utterly grateful
  • For someone writing with brevity I am using a shit-ton of adverbs
  • I’m really grateful and happy for yesterday
  • I promised I would spend nothing on myself last week then bought a book of poetry
  • It’s a disease
  • I learned something this week about negotiating conflict
  • Explaining well is no guarantee someone will agree with me
  • I can live with them not agreeing with me
  • Talking things out is less important for convincing someone of my side and more important for learning to listen and seeing what they have to say
  • It seems you can sell some very bad poetry when you include a photo of a bare ass

Have a great Monday, and I will try and do the same !