- Those who know me well know that I have resisted getting a cell phone for all these years
- except for a brief tryst with a flip phone between ’06-’08
- I have a new friend who is quickly becoming like one of the family who says it is not safe for me not to have a phone with the cars I drive, old and rusting away as they are
- I say it is a luxury
- a nuisance
- but she is right. One car is a ’94 and one is a ’99.
- They make some of the same noises my knees make on stairs.
- So that’s that.
- I am going to say this right out, right now: I am uncomfortable with complete silence
- The reasons for this are varied, but most come from childhood and are fairly evident by poetry regarding the same. Rephrased: enough said about that.
- This week I was under the weather, mostly I think from allowing myself to become rundown
- Plus after a particularly rough patch, I followed it with a great deal of sugary snacks, which we all have come to know are poison.
- I did not go to the doctor, but I did doctor myself with water, vegetables, fruit, vitamins, sunshine, and colloidal silver
- and sleep, which I am still working on.
- I just can’t get enough, but I am trying
I tore up my fingers on that ring
grasping at what was not mine–
but I stole it–because it was his
and I wanted her not to have it
The late night snacking takes a toll
a lack of sleep notwithstanding
the gremlins that come out only at night
have found a niche under my skin
painful and soothing all at once
Over-thinking also has its price
this bat and ball are nothing to me now
I never did take to diamonds that well
but one time, there was an emerald
that caught my eye
I would have sold all I had for it
until I owned only that and none else
but that won’t feed anyone
and it won’t transport, or shower;
what once were needs are now desires
The tree top seemed out of reach
until waking up to fog I remembered
we must bend and stretch, and
no one gets a free ride
of government cheese for always
but with a little perseverance
I could have every dream fulfilled
if I only dream of mediocrity
and if I am not that hungry
- I baked a chicken dish this week that was delicious.
- Sadly I do not think I can repeat it, as I cooked as if I were painting or writing words, and wrote nothing down
- Our local grocery had chicken quarters for 39 cents a pound, so I couldn’t resist, especially since that is my favourite part of the bird, especially the thighs
- Hubby is a breast man
- Basically it was salt, black pepper, chili powder, granulated garlic, onion powder, thyme, rosemary, basil, and turmeric. I basted it every half hour at 375F with bottled balsamic salad dressing.
- It got all brown and sticky and moist, very rich. Great over rice.
- NaNoWriMo is here once more
- For the uninitiated, the idea is to write a 50k word novel in 30 days
- From the past ventures, I have 1 rough draft and two unfinished novels
- I can’t seem to finish
- Is this laziness, or was I built more for sprints than long distance running?
- Not giving up
- Besides I need a break from sewing these little felt things I’ve been poking at for months now.
- I really thought the craft show would go better, but it takes time to get how it all works and how to market oneself, even at a 6×3 foot table
- Even after sending gifts I still have a good hundred at least of these little felt Christmas ornaments and key chains. The majority are keychains.
- If you hit me up in e-mail or my contact page, and paypal me 25 bucks, I’ll send you a dozen assorted little bears and hearts and things, (US only) and for another five bucks, I’ll throw in an original poem signed by me
- I really do have to recoup some of my material costs
- Then I will start again
- On the positive side, my sewing skills are getting better, and I have many new projects for the coming year
- I am getting a bit of arthritis, and I never will forget my mother telling me the secret is to keep your fingers busy
- If you get idle, they will get gnarled up and not work anymore for you
- If they are kept industrious, they still might get gnarly in time, but they won’t stop working, and that’s what I want.
- After all, I could live to be a hundred
- So it is monday again, and at my house that means gray and rain and talk of snow at the end of the week
- Illinois folks learn to be resilient so we are geared up with our mittens and our ice scrapers and drive on without a thought about snow before Thanksgiving.
- Not a thought
Enjoy your Monday! It is the only one that will ever be just like today.
Here’s some kind of chill groove I have been listening to while writing this morning
- A cool day after a hot spell is so great. I’m so excited I might make soup
- I had to go to a funeral on Saturday. I did not know him well, but I know his family very well. He comes to mind often still. I am glad he’s not in pain
- There is so much comfort in knowing he is out of misery and in Heaven
- I love how He promises, ‘to be away from the body is to be present with the Lord.’ (2 Cor 5:8)
- I’ve been writing daily, but still having trouble getting back into my novels. I don’t know what’s wrong.
- Could I just be lazy, and not want to do the work? It’s something to consider.
I am too long awake
with my companions
greedy for my attention
impatience, and discontent
on my other side
Whimsy comes by
in a lavender tutu
and laughs at us
doing her best
with hand stands
and shadow puppets
my big toe
drives a truck full of words
through my brain
I am too long without sleep
delirium, will you
keep me from loneliness
as you pass over my body
closing my eye-lids
My body is revolting. It is telling me things about the life I have lived and the myriad of ways I have abused it. I am 54. I could easily live 30 more years or more based on my health as I saw it 30 years ago. But now, I get warning signs. I lose friends. Friends younger than I are dying suddenly. I am surrounded by cancer.
Why have I written all these very not-cheerful words? Because we all have a time when we face ourselves. For some it is at 40. For others, 70. For me it was 50, but I ignored it until this past year. I became overly sentimental and mawkish about the smallest details. Everything meant something. A cough, a twinge, a sudden chill.
This is an old fashioned Monday Random in its purest form – a stream of consciousness – thoughts with no theme. Yesterday required a lot of talking. Today – everything I want to say is lined up in my mind like bullet points. So let’s get to it.
- There is something to be said for pizza suppers with only two plates and two glasses to wash after I’ve left them overnight
- Not paper plates because I don’t like to use many disposables
- We are going on a trip this summer we cannot afford
- To save money we are eating eggs at 2/3 meals and found this is a very easy way to cut down on grocery costs
- Salsa is a great ingredient for putting tomatoes and onions in the eggs when I am out of produce
- Plus you can’t get a good tomato in May
- My mother’s day became very special with an unexpected phone call and I am utterly grateful
- For someone writing with brevity I am using a shit-ton of adverbs
- I’m really grateful and happy for yesterday
- I promised I would spend nothing on myself last week then bought a book of poetry
- It’s a disease
- I learned something this week about negotiating conflict
- Explaining well is no guarantee someone will agree with me
- I can live with them not agreeing with me
- Talking things out is less important for convincing someone of my side and more important for learning to listen and seeing what they have to say
- It seems you can sell some very bad poetry when you include a photo of a bare ass
Have a great Monday, and I will try and do the same !