Cookbook, page 29

Breakfast was unsatisfying
The sunshine made too much of it all
The rain is coming, not nearly soon enough
The birds complained about the bread crusts
(breakfast, sun, rain, birds, bread)
Recipe for a morning.

The night was interrupted twice
The stars made 2 a.m. worth it
I found myself dozing, pen in hand
The rain (still) has not arrived, and I wait
The birds sang me awake so I could write to you
(night, stars, pen, rain, birdsong)
Recipe for joy.

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fireworks

last night’s dog day
in sweaty angry silence
melted into sweet morning
lime tea words
over cups, with a
steamy cover of regrets
and guitar strums balm

we cannot have it back
can we, that sweet
close smell of together
amidst shooting stars–
stepping out of our place
to face the world
again, with secrets

is it me on your mind
when this song plays–
1989 is a meteor
and all our hopes
have got to be enough
to shield us, if
you do not turn to salt

Falling star, 1989

I did not belong there
and I knew it
how you were not mine yet
and she did not know you were there
with me
letting something grow
that was for keeps
in time
keeping time, and
holding on tightly
so that no one could sever our bond
looking upwards
that fierce green streak
putting a stamp on it
on us
and for once
I believed in signs

3 a.m.

I can hear no cars. I might be the only one in this time zone awake.

The mind is errant when left on its own. With no goal in mind, it wanders through places my mother warned me about – with fancy names and neon.

Everything here is shiny and bright. My tired eyes blink, trying to make out shapes and faces. I see you, waving to me. I try to be nonchalant.

I remember it was a drag the day I realized I was the girl mothers warned their sons about. I couldn’t argue with the facts.

There is nothing left now to do but keep it as a memory, and sand down the edges for posterity. Once I am gone, I will not be able to explain.

Now that I have passed the fulcrum of this night, I will stay awake and watch the sun come up. I hate to think this stardust will be wasted.