carousel
of random thoughts
carry me
past this place
into our first apartment
our noisy haven

with a date
written
into my notebook
and your eyes seeking mine
for the first time in a decade
I can sleep now

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after three nights no sleep
easy lovemaking
slipped into deep rest
utterly lost to the night
for the first time in a week
she could not tell you
what was the phase of the moon

The nightwatchman

the nightwatchman holds steady while
everyone sleeps
stalwart through the hours
the dogs in the neighborhood
dreaming of chasing tails, cats, and squirrels
and guards the night’s secrets
all the pleasures of a night barely touched
by drowsy inhabitants
he roams freely and finds the remains of his soul
the particulates drifting off and away
during sunshine-filled days
with an aptitude for finding autumn sprites
that linger in the cool and damp
where the sultry fog meets mid-October
counting stars and watching the hours turn
always startled by first light
when it hits the windows across the street
and turns them to gold

Monday Random: just random

  • I was awake in the sweet spot of night, from 3-5
  • Both before and after this interlude, I dreamt such weird things, not all bad but all over the place. Third night in a row dreaming of my kids as small children instead of grown
  • Highlight was looking out an east window in my delirium and seeing two planets rising. Checking here I think I was seeing Venus and Mars. So cool and so bright
  • Last night I was talking to the delightful Entirety In Bits.  We nudged each other about handwritten poems like we used to submit on Twitter at #justwrite
  • Still hazy with the dreams even after 2 cups of coffee. Off to find a pen

Here’s a little something from 1957, which was always my mother’s favourite music year. I hope your Monday is outrageously good

 

struggling for sleep
three-quarters of an hour
I surrendered and rose early
my mind still on my dreams
envying you there
in the clouds

some call sleep
an ethereal bestowal
deserved by the innocent
but I am unwilling
to spoil this perfect coffee
delving deep for redemption

4 in a bed

I am too long awake
with my companions
greedy for my attention
impatience, and discontent
on my other side

Whimsy comes by
in a lavender tutu
and laughs at us
doing her best
with hand stands
and shadow puppets

Impatience wiggling
my big toe
while discontent
drives a truck full of words
through my brain

I am too long without sleep
delirium, will you
keep me from loneliness
as you pass over my body
closing my eye-lids
without warning

3 a.m.

I can hear no cars. I might be the only one in this time zone awake.

The mind is errant when left on its own. With no goal in mind, it wanders through places my mother warned me about – with fancy names and neon.

Everything here is shiny and bright. My tired eyes blink, trying to make out shapes and faces. I see you, waving to me. I try to be nonchalant.

I remember it was a drag the day I realized I was the girl mothers warned their sons about. I couldn’t argue with the facts.

There is nothing left now to do but keep it as a memory, and sand down the edges for posterity. Once I am gone, I will not be able to explain.

Now that I have passed the fulcrum of this night, I will stay awake and watch the sun come up. I hate to think this stardust will be wasted.