Sleeping with the television on

Did I sleep?
I remember moments
when colors flew by
kaleidoscope
and merry-go-round
and you–-smiling
that must have been a dream

our fingers
formed a web between us
and you lifted your hand
to
brush hair off my forehead–-
shivering with the notion
of one hundred nights

I trampled you
and you asked for more
assumptions. predictions. affirmations.
and a storm
of peppermint schnapps
the tip of your tongue
lazy–
saying–
come on

and I was drawing you
into every waking hour
the way I saw you
each day
a new destination
to reach that sunset
with you still seeing me–-

Monday Random: Easter Sunday

  • Good morning
  • Easter was to be a small affair, just the two of us
  • The menu was simple: chicken parmesan, garlic bread, a big salad, and my famous cheesecake for dessert
  • Saturday I had been so sick, I lay around all day, in and out of sleep. Nothing serious, just a virus that’s been around our town and finally found me
  • Hubby had been sick already 3 days
  • By Sunday a.m. we knew neither of us were going to church
  • Dinner was a maybe, the day’s fare consisting mostly of tea and toast, and diet soda
  • Somewhere mid-day while watching movies, he got hungry and I made salads. That gave us some energy to think about the delicious chicken, but that meant being on my feet
  • What’s a girl to do?
  • The cheesecake finally made it into the oven, but had to refrigerate a minimum of four hours
  • The chicken was finished cooking mid-evening, declared delicious, and gobbled up, sans bread or veg or anything else
  • Then I passed out during the next movie
  • When I woke up, I was sad that it was bedtime and he hadn’t had any Easter cheesecake. I cut him a slice and he declared one bite delicious, saving the rest for Monday
  • I opted out of that or toast or anything, laying down again and waking up to the t.v. another hour later, past midnight
  • We finally had the good sense to find our bed, then talked more into the night before we both passed out to our fever dreams
  • I dreamed about Barry White. He was hanging out with me in a black, glittery suit, a whale of a man. I said, “That suit just glitters, it really shines.”
  • He said, “You shine, in everything you do.”
  • Damn, I have an endorsement from Barry White. I woke up feeling a little better and more confident than ever to continue on the path I have chosen. What a guy.

Happy Monday! We are all still here, and glad to be. If we ever get re-married to renew our vows as we’ve discussed, I want this song to be part of it. Allbest as we start out this week together. Thanks for reading. You know,  I never take that for granted–

2 days, no sleep

pile_of_pillows

I tore up my fingers on that ring
grasping at what was not mine–
but I stole it–because it was his
and I wanted her not to have it

The late night snacking takes a toll
a lack of sleep notwithstanding
the gremlins that come out only at night
have found a niche under my skin
painful and soothing all at once

Over-thinking also has its price
this bat and ball are nothing to me now
I never did take to diamonds that well
but one time, there was an emerald
that caught my eye

I would have sold all I had for it
until I owned only that and none else
but that won’t feed anyone
and it won’t transport, or shower;
what once were needs are now desires

The tree top seemed out of reach
until waking up to fog I remembered
we must bend and stretch, and
no one gets a free ride
of government cheese for always

but with a little perseverance
I could have every dream fulfilled
if I only dream of mediocrity
and if I am not that hungry

carousel
of random thoughts
carry me
past this place
into our first apartment
our noisy haven

with a date
written
into my notebook
and your eyes seeking mine
for the first time in a decade
I can sleep now

Morning came quickly
never enough sleep between ghosts
staring into my granola
I look for something profound
but like most serials
I see only a few seconds more
of the same

The nightwatchman

the nightwatchman holds steady while
everyone sleeps
stalwart through the hours
the dogs in the neighborhood
dreaming of chasing tails, cats, and squirrels
and guards the night’s secrets
all the pleasures of a night barely touched
by drowsy inhabitants
he roams freely and finds the remains of his soul
the particulates drifting off and away
during sunshine-filled days
with an aptitude for finding autumn sprites
that linger in the cool and damp
where the sultry fog meets mid-October
counting stars and watching the hours turn
always startled by first light
when it hits the windows across the street
and turns them to gold

Monday Random: just random

  • I was awake in the sweet spot of night, from 3-5
  • Both before and after this interlude, I dreamt such weird things, not all bad but all over the place. Third night in a row dreaming of my kids as small children instead of grown
  • Highlight was looking out an east window in my delirium and seeing two planets rising. Checking here I think I was seeing Venus and Mars. So cool and so bright
  • Last night I was talking to the delightful Entirety In Bits.  We nudged each other about handwritten poems like we used to submit on Twitter at #justwrite
  • Still hazy with the dreams even after 2 cups of coffee. Off to find a pen

Here’s a little something from 1957, which was always my mother’s favourite music year. I hope your Monday is outrageously good

 

struggling for sleep
three-quarters of an hour
I surrendered and rose early
my mind still on my dreams
envying you there
in the clouds

some call sleep
an ethereal bestowal
deserved by the innocent
but I am unwilling
to spoil this perfect coffee
delving deep for redemption