I feel unsteady (a tango)

these days
not the metaphysical bit
of the mind off kilter

but the way
you did not expect of me
toddling over ice and snow
in fear of falling

no longer
dancing

lightly up and down steps
my skirt brushing my ankles
daring me to try it

 

Early-winter Autumn

October 31 2019

It snowed early, and relentless. Even the morning after stung our faces with winds that adhered ice to the car windows like egg whites. We tested one another. We tried each of our nerves with instigations and allegations. We loved hard, and for weeks, it was not enough, as if we had forgotten all of it.

There were rules, and we had broken them. There were unsigned agreements about acceptance and kindness; contracts were rescinded from as far back as 1990. Still, we gritted our teeth and laughed at (others’) jokes. Nothing was funny and no one cared to look up from the television. The computer screen

laughed at us, and our antics. How stupid can humans be, to fight the one person who has their backs? The only one that would give up a kidney, were they asked–

Snowy October
Deer do not turn their heads
birdsong louder still

It is only melancholy
it is not catching
it is
not a disease, though
it could be described as chronic-
family whispering at the door
friends bringing casseroles
and good wishes-
what is the cure
for being a whirling dervish
amongst the rest of the world
that turns as it should-

1984

On nights like tonight I remember my friend. She was there when I felt I had no one and no safety net. Home was a cancer. School was something in which I could never find a place. My town ate me alive.

She gave light and laughter to everything. She was foolish and foolhardy. On nights like tonight I remember the fun days. In my memory she is always laughing. She surrounded herself only with friends who loved life and did not tell her what to do and what not to do. I changed and she was gone. It did not take long.

this room is airless
the air is cold from outside
she does not miss me

 


 

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

-Kahlil Gibran

Cobblestones

One step behind, and
a lit cigarette on the sidewalk
my next footprint snuffing it out–
how I ended a friendship
with one gesture
he would not let me take back;

How she left me behind
after one phone call
neither of us could forget–
my shoe, unsinged
and my heart, unbroken–

But, over time
I become surprised
at the ache that stays

Frigid

pink moon 2

On this cold planet
exiled for loving too much
and too hard
presided by a moon
icy and unfeeling

I remember love
the thoughts
of warm hands
and
the heart of a champion

I recall a day
when I was made queen
of one man, one seeker
and it reminds me not to let go
of the tether

To be carried
through frigid space
to be sentenced
for always–

Come to me again
my love
with that fire
so red and angry–
it would send that moon

splashing

Shelter

Escaping from the wicked stew
that is the world around me
making me crazy in circles
with all they expect

I am here in my hiding place
where I find light and warmth
and no one tears my hair out

fairies brushing it until it shines
growing in the hope that
when I re-enter the world

I will bring this light with me