say what you will
about Pop-Tarts
but I never saw one
burn down a building
I never
saw a Twinkie
crash a car
or give me the finger
on my birthday

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you’ve been gone 20 years
but I felt you pass behind me
and touch my back
cold and reaching
while I was washing the dishes

if you are really there
you might help dry

Monday random: no fool like an old fool

 

  • I always think of pranks to play on April Fool’s Day, but I rarely do them
  • I did some pranking as a child but it only brought on anger, not the fun of it
  • It could be my fault, not having the cool, smooth nature to pull of a brilliant prank that also elicits laughs and smiles
  • I will say–on the subject of humour–that laughing at myself has come a long way, and been a healing force in our marriage
  • Continue reading “Monday random: no fool like an old fool”

I thought death had better manners

death-2024663_1280

 

 

A shadow fell across me
and the shelves of canned tomatoes
before me at the local market
someone breathing–heavy enough
close enough to feel it upon my neck

I moved an obligatory two steps
toward the green beans
but the shadow moved with me
like the mouth-breathers from
middle school

I made a quick move to leave the aisle
when a black-robed figure
skirted around me, knocking off
half a dozen cans
with a garden tool

Finally in line, with my 2 cans
of pizza sauce and a rotisserie chicken
I saw the black robe putting groceries
on the conveyor, and when he turned
his head I saw it was the grim reaper

I said, “Hey man–how come
you have 32 items in the express lane?”
Everything stopped. The store
was shrouded in silence. The cashier
looked at me in horror

Death’s hand stopped in mid-air
holding a box of Corn Pops.
“You know,” I said
“That stuff’ll kill you.”

 


from 2015
image by pixabay.com

Working conditions

He said he would install a/c
in the room in which
I work in, but
I said no–I think I need
to be truly miserable to write
or the words come out anemic

He has not spoken to me
all day
since then
disgusted–or at least thrown
by my logic
which he says
has no basis outside of emotion

I wonder why he does not
go with the flow
and the reality
of living with me under a storm cloud
for 29 years
after all
I have a good umbrella.

It is cool under there
and safe from blinding suns.
He must admit
that the rain
has done an amazing job
with the impatiens


Tantalizing Tuesday: Carole Lombard

No new Tuesday feature this week, but instead a replay of an enchanting lady–
p.s. there will be a few replays this week, but I will try and keep them interesting!

Are You Thrilled

Carole Lombard suit

Carole Lombard was stunning. Dazzling. Bombshell? Most assuredly.

Carole Lombard gown with streamers.jpg

According to some, she was the highest paid actress in the late 1930’s. But the film I keep coming back to, the one I want to see again is My Man Godfrey (1936) with William Powell. I was mesmerized. I fell in love for the hour and one half that she was on the screen. It wasn’t for her platinum blonde hair. It was for her eyes and her smile, and most notably, she made me laugh.

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Story of my life

A series of tales begun in 2016

You ask me to tell you a story about myself. My stories once frightened a child upon overhearing, and afterward, my mother did not speak to me for months.

Would you believe me if I told you that I used to be a ballerina in a troupe of fairies in East Cicero, Illinois? I didn’t think so.

Would you believe I ran off for a week with the plumber when he came to our house? I liked the look of him and he seemed keen on the idea.

When the kids came along I had to hide the little one’s natural ability to unclog the sink.

Once I joined the circus as a magician. I had ordered new doves at the last moment, but they sent me mockingbirds instead. I got fired after the first show. The Ringmaster thought they were making fun of him.

Would you believe I rode a bicycle naked through a crowd of traveling minstrels? By day’s end I had learned how to play the clarinet.

Once I owned a fruit stand on North Michigan Avenue. Every few months a Naval captain came by. He would squeeze my melons. He had the coldest hands.

I worked in a shop with a laundry in front,a psychiatrist in back and facials upstairs. Pressed or depressed cost the same.

Before that I worked for a tailor. He made mens suits to die for. He was amusing and kept me in stitches. But you saw that coming.

to be continued