there used to be a heart there
in that hole
with the briers and the mud
her blind spot
his weapon
her head
never knowing
the truth of it

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Skidding in slo-mo

He was an angry buck out to prove
his folks were wrong
but too old to act that way
no matter how much he pissed her off
he was just cocky enough
to believe she’d be back

She drove four states
to get to that hot-headed prick
who had driven her mad
what she’d never admit
his smile enough
to knock her wheels off the tracks

ignoring her rebellious heart
never doing what it was told
if it was her mama
or her best friend, or her ex
or even the professor
who felt her up during finals–
she knew better

Ticking

Every day I open another door
watching an old one close
turning my head for that moment
hearing the click of the lock
my soul in chains and it is He
who unlocks them-one by one
reminding me I am here
for a greater purpose
everyone hurting – everyone needing
and I have something still to give away

Getting to know my own heart
hiding it even from myself
I get surprised – appalled – scared-
by what oozes out of this organ
the hate and bitterness
the color of death
leaving me now
and I do not look away
at the horror of the decay to my heart
once pulsing and new

So many doors – I get
so easily twisted ’round –
a face from the past
darkening a threshold
confounding me –
what do I really want-
which to choose
and which to board up-
pain when the cells reweave themselves
new life where once was merely debris

It is safe to come out now
as the thunder is less
and the ticking is behind me –
the further I travel down this path
the more I have to learn yet
and I find myself astonished
as I become reacquainted with myself-
loins girded – helmet fastened tight
that others should know me better now
yet you know me less