Monday Random: Let’s talk about depression

  • My husband has Mondays off, so Tuesdays are like Mondays for me; and yesterday was an impossible day to write this, so don’t worry, you did not go back in time
  • We’ve all heard the news this past week, like other weeks in the past, when someone takes their own life, or more than one someone
  • When suicide is in the news, some people on the news will talk about asking for help if you are in trouble, and others will talk about talking about it too much, that it will create copycats
  • I actually do believe that the latter can be true, as I think back to a time in my life where I romanticized suicide
  • There is nothing romantic about it, and I tend to avoid literature where it does seem to be the climax of the film and something very hopeless that had no other choices
  • This is not to say that we should not talk about it, hell no!
  • Hell no!
  • It is the secrecy that sometimes makes it oh, so easy, when no one knows to come and help
  • Or maybe you have been talking, and not felt listened to. And then there is that person who says, ‘it’s only a cry for help.’
  • Really? What does that tell you?
  • Yep, I’ve been through all the stages. The last stage was about fifteen years ago, when I promised my children that throwing in my cards was no longer on the table.
  • But I will say that this past week when I heard about the third suicide in as many days, that I started contemplating things
  • Then I told myself, ‘Stop it!’ ‘Quit it!’
  • Depression lies
  • So does fear

Continue reading “Monday Random: Let’s talk about depression”

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Wisteria

vines

Thoughts one upon another
rolling over rocks over water, oh
give me a sheltering branch
taste and see if my thoughts
are bitter or sweet
or rotting on the vine

Jesus, I need Your hand
like a wing around my bare sores
beaten down and tired–
heal me please with your tender care
remind me why I need you daily
oh cover me in sweet grasses
and help me not to forget

wisteria

Every step the stones loosen
on this road I fashioned myself
thorn and burr on each side
and a rising tide
I press on–trying to stay upright
keep my feet from slipping
one arm raised–a hand
outstretched to feel Yours

Monday Random: love

  • It is a hefty challenge to stand up for what you believe without sounding like a pompous ass
  • In I Corinthians 13, Paul says that without love, I am I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal
  • Yikes, so much for thinking well of myself
  • I thought of this one day when I was in a disagreement in Twitter. It was short and sweet and ended well because we both respect one another and wanted it not to explode into worse
  • But even while typing my opinion / belief, I sounded condescending, even to myself
  • I don’t want to be that kind of girl
  • On the other hand, I don’t want to be a weak person that does not stand up for myself or my beliefs
  • Religion–politics–lighted matches in a paper factory
  • sigh

This song is lovely

Continue reading “Monday Random: love”

If I, if you, if we

If I were a fairy
I could peek in your window
when you are sad
and write messages of hope
in the fog left there
from my breathing

If I were a fairy
small and nimble
I would sit
atop your cupboard
while you take your tea
or your coffee, light and sweet

If I were a fairy
a cosmic breath of air
in your ear, I would whisper
every time you want to give up
the broken dreams
your loss of wonder and whimsy

I would clap for you
applaud all your victories
your conquered countries
your phallic monuments
happy when you see me
alighting upon your settee

if I were a fairy

Are you looking?

Dark days
no cloud
to obscure the view
don’t look away
baby on the beach
another child
who won’t grow up
mama lost
papa lost
your loss
is our loss

Black Wednesday
blood lost
how much can we
afford to lose-
don’t look away
death in Charleston
more children
who won’t grow up
your loss
is our loss

Call me childish
but what does idealism cost
no fog to pretty the sight
of carnage in San Bernardino
it lessens all of us
don’t look away
don’t turn tail
don’t run

Dark night
no cloud
to obscure the view
don’t look away
from Orlando
someone’s babies
are in the road
son lost
daughter lost
your loss
is my loss

Dark days
no cloud
to obscure the view
don’t look away
babies holding guns
another child
who won’t grow up
mama lost
papa lost
your loss
is our loss