1985

I walked into the place and decided that this was where I belonged for the next two years. It was loud and raucous, and I could not hear my own voice when I ordered a drink from the bartender with hair standing straight up on her head. It was 1985, and one-night stands were in season. Perhaps they were popular and frantic because everyone knew they were on their way out. Like the bees in September.

I met a man who sang at the piano once or twice a weekend. It wasn’t the same as the driving disco beat and crappy singles bar feeling. It was a hint of something smooth and fine, lounge music adding a dirty tone to what I had heard now and then on my folks’ t.v. I was in love.

I had a crush on the man but I was in love with the music. The words. The romance of the piano in the night, speaking to me of longings that were very old. I knew this place. I had known it years before I walked inside.

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sunset October

I don’t have your colours
all my words
what I have to bring to life
what you paint over my sky
is it ever enough for you
to see my blues
and the red days
that go well past the horizon

Monday Random

  • I went to mail a letter in my building without looking in the mirror first.
  • Day by day, I am getting back to my normal self
  • Whatever normal is
  • Perhaps normal is what I feel like inside, without anyone else’s expectations
  • I would also try to erase some regrets, though they cannot really be forgotten, and add to our experiences, what makes us wiser
  • sadder and wiser
  • Today’s weather here is a good illustration of how I view my life right now

Continue reading “Monday Random”

you leave me cool and blue

Blue and cool.jpg

he is a one-strike-you’re-out
kind of man
the dog days are wearing
on my scraped-up heart
self-pity is crap
but maybe I’ll learn
some

holding a can of Fresca
to my forehead
been told nothing
but bullshit today
your words that don’t thaw
however the mercury rises

I can take any day
when the blues are playing
hearing the church sing through the walls
tickling the g string and moanin’
how people keep going
and coming


do nightmares chase us into day

sunrise plus seagul

the sky changes
from black to blue
layers of cobalt and cerulean
over flames afar off
my horizon burning off a nightmare
that chased us through the night

running for home
over sooty streets
we were not overcome by the dark
aquamarine dancing with apricot
thoughts of the new day
hopes that the sun will ignite us

for we have become
day sleepers over time
all of our late-80’s hopes
riding on blue and grey clouds
whilst melon and tea rose
slice the sky

Lemon Pie Blues

Today hurt bad like cuts on my fingers
then slicing lemons for hours
your face, always disappointed, and
I would like to be the girl
to bring light to your eyes

How do I explain why it hurts more
to be misunderstood than kicked
honey, how I wish I could have you here
to protect me now
because I am feeling low

Feeling tired and wondering why
I never fit into this world of woe
come Sunday everything
is going to feel alright
praise God on Sunday we will dance

and give happiness one more chance
come Sunday
everything is gonna feel alright

rhythm and blues

you have muted me
apathetic arrows
slicing through
leaving me silent
I wish you would yell
for we have forgotten
the start
the hum of us

how we were
when I read your thoughts
and you
finished my sentences
at times
with a laugh
but they are harder
to come by now

dear moments
swept out-saved up
tenderness’s
priceless and irreplaceable
make good placemats now
and coasters
to keep rings
off the table