Last words

Too many sips loosens up the will
more than the intellect
I am either going to
ruin your day
or rock your stuff

Either way this is going
to play out to the finish
I already pressed the button
and I am no slacker

Do you forgive me–
because I felt myself
and I had to do

I climbed inside your head
kicking and thrashing
I heard you yelp
and giggle
when it tickled
you cried out in pain
when I showed you
our history
in a petri dish


It is dark here
the blinds pulled down
the last record spinning and scratching
and no one notices it
or takes it off

Our hopes
wrapped in these days
that offer nothing in the middle
only more darkness
or a way out

On my knees
I could pray and feel You there
but I know You hear me, walking
down this cracked sidewalk
for the last time

Saddle up

It started yesterday
as I went through my chores
my lists
working and doing
my thoughts got lost in hoof beats

Someone shook me
to get my attention
what is this dark, this shadow
that makes its way through my brain
with a will of its own? And later

during dinner, the pounding
that I perceived to be my own heartbeat
again, riders of another world traversing
my thoughts without consent
my concentration and my focus
comminuted as they picked up speed-


I am no one-a poor girl with dreams
it is hard enough to sift the toothsome
dreaming from the nightmares
but now I must try to harness them
in my waking hours
and I am not capable

I don’t have that sort of cunning
to put the bit in the mouth and keep reins
taut, to bring the thoughts back
to what I wanted, what I will
these convoluted desires

these wishes become goals
and they ride on, with no thought
the night is coming
and I will be trampled




flowers die in the vase but she is quite alive
despite reports that she won’t pull through
the stronger they push her towards the dust
the greater her resolve to live well
pizza every night even on Saturdays
when they shake the earth for fifteen minutes
then slide a tray of pepperoni pizza and
ice cold Budweiser over the stain