Monday Random: Let’s talk about depression

  • My husband has Mondays off, so Tuesdays are like Mondays for me; and yesterday was an impossible day to write this, so don’t worry, you did not go back in time
  • We’ve all heard the news this past week, like other weeks in the past, when someone takes their own life, or more than one someone
  • When suicide is in the news, some people on the news will talk about asking for help if you are in trouble, and others will talk about talking about it too much, that it will create copycats
  • I actually do believe that the latter can be true, as I think back to a time in my life where I romanticized suicide
  • There is nothing romantic about it, and I tend to avoid literature where it does seem to be the climax of the film and something very hopeless that had no other choices
  • This is not to say that we should not talk about it, hell no!
  • Hell no!
  • It is the secrecy that sometimes makes it oh, so easy, when no one knows to come and help
  • Or maybe you have been talking, and not felt listened to. And then there is that person who says, ‘it’s only a cry for help.’
  • Really? What does that tell you?
  • Yep, I’ve been through all the stages. The last stage was about fifteen years ago, when I promised my children that throwing in my cards was no longer on the table.
  • But I will say that this past week when I heard about the third suicide in as many days, that I started contemplating things
  • Then I told myself, ‘Stop it!’ ‘Quit it!’
  • Depression lies
  • So does fear

  • Mauricio Miguel Figueiras, an author who resides in Mexico City, has been writing a series of tweets on the subject of depression that has got me thinking. I hope you’ll check it out
  • His Twitter account is The Man in Tweed @elhombredetweed
  • Here is the link to Mauricio’s depression discussion
  • I have never shared twitter links on WP before. If it does not work, go to @elhombredetweed on May 24.

tweed tweet

  • His writing is primarily en Español, but if you don’t read Spanish, the embedded translation is quite adequate to get at the meaning of things

tweed tweet 2

  • In the interest of transparency, and sharing, I have dealt with depression in varying degrees since about eight years old. Years ago, a therapist said that when a baby isn’t wanted, they can tell, by how they are treated and how their pains are attended to, or not attended to
  • After the years passed, I realized that it was good to face this, but also good to forgive and let go. That doesn’t always come quickly. But it does heal.
  • I thought that I was doing much better last month, and felt encouraged by better health, and started sharing that with a friend
  • Then I closed up, and I didn’t want to talk about it.
  • There was shame in depression staying at my house for so long
  • There is still shame in mental illness, even in my family, though we have many incidences of it
  • Especially surrounded by church people, who I love, and who I know care about me, but still, I am ashamed at my weakness.
  • I did speak up and some voices came back at me with only love, holding me and telling me they care, and they are cheering me on for good health
  • There is a Bible verse that says that a wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. My depression was destroying my home.
  • So here I am, telling you and also saying (screaming) that talking is a good thing. Even when it is ugly
  • I want to talk more
  • I want to listen more
  • One thing I learned this week is that it is okay not to understand, if there is listening and acceptance. That is like pure gold to someone who is hungry for love
  • Let’s care about what our neighbor is going through
  • We could save a life
  • and at the risk of being cliché, forgive me, but in all seriousness and love I say, that life you save could be your own.

I hope your Monday was good, and Tuesday is even better. Perhaps I will be on time next week. If you read to the bottom of the page, I do thank you–

— Rose

 

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15 thoughts on “Monday Random: Let’s talk about depression

  1. A very important and powerful post. I have always been uncomfortable with the phrase ‘a cry for help’ as it is often used in a snide, condescending way. If it’s a cry for help – that person needs help! Go help! Hugs and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No one knows or understands depression unless they’ve been through it themselves or experienced it with someone they love. This analogy always helps me because it symbolizes and embodies hope: There is light at the end of the tunnel. Even when we can’t see that light yet, it is there. One foot in front of the other; baby steps with your arms out first, stumbling. Falling. Getting back up, bruised and weary but still moving forward, fighting for every step, until you see it. And when you do it is stunning and awesome. It brings you to your bleeding knees. And then you walk in it. Stumbling still, but seeing until you reach it, and it ignites your soul and your understanding. You know now, that you’ve been through the tunnel of darkness and you know you can go through it again if you have to. It is worth it. There is Light. It is Him.
    –Pam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Pam, yes, those baby steps are crucial. I went a long time only sitting still, or taking backward steps.
      You are brave, how you describe the fighting and falling. Years ago I heard a Japanese proverb, something like–fall seven times, rise up 8

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, it isn’t me who is brave. It’s my daughter. I have some depression for which I finally started taking medicine about two years ago. It has helped me greatly–that and therapy. My daughter suffers from bouts of debilitating depression. Severe episodic depression is what her doctor calls it. Her journey started when she was about fourteen. She does very well. But sometimes it’s hard. What I described is my experience watching her work through it–and, of course, what she has described to me. She has it under control with therapy and medication, thank the good Lord.

        Like

  3. Thanks for talking. I had the blahs, a lot when I was younger and not so much now. I call it the “blahs” because I was always able to “pick myself up by the bootstraps”. I don’t know, but I think if you are experiencing depression, picking yourself up is not possible? Especially, if it is a chemical deficiency?

    When my grandparents passed, I think I experienced depression and it found its way out by me drinking myself silly every night. Don’t know how I got out of it, just stopped partying.

    I am a good listener, and am willing to listen whenever you need it. I do not judge, I do tend to try and solve the problem, but will do my best to just listen.

    Thank you for shining light on this very dark, secretive disease. Rose, you are a light to your followers! Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for adding to this dialogue. It does seem like there is a part of the healing that involves the will, and getting up. But yes, you’re right if a person has succombed to hopelessness, they don’t know how. Or they give up, telling themselves it won’t help anyway. It won’t ever be gone.

      I have appreciated you being around since I started blogging in ’14, so it means a lot to me that we are still talking. Isn’t the internet a funny thing, how we feel close to people we don’t barely know. I suppose it is the kindnesses that make it so.

      I do believe you are a good listener, and I just might take you up on that when I need it. Thank you. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Rose, it hurts my heart to think of any child, any person, not feeling wanted. And You! So many talents, so much love to give, and yet what dominated at times the tender corners of your mind. . . was such sadness, and it is so understandable that you would have felt as you did. Fortunately, truly “nought may endure but mutability” and what Was – is not what Is to Come. Hold onto the light and keep walking forward, in your bravery and with your beauty. It’s hard to know what the right thing to say is but I wish you happiness – lots of it, large and small, altogether enough to outshine depression if it creeps in, and hey you can hang out at my little place any time, fwiw, rain or shine. ~ Peri

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The light has been coming back in bit by bit, and some days it just floods in, and I am so thankful for that. It’s strange isn’t it, how we can have so much kindness shown to us, but when we’ve been hurt, we don’t (or won’t, I can be very stubborn) trust others. But I am too old to let this continue.
      Thank you so much–I am touched by your beautiful comments.
      I find a lot of hope and love on your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t believe that depression is a weakness any more than other types of disease. My father was bipolar, which years ago was treated mainly as depression (and not very effectively) and bouts of his condition were sometimes called a “nervous breakdown”. I know that this colored my life, and I’ve always felt it lurking somewhere around the corner. Yes, talking about depression is a POSITIVE and NECESSARY thing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My daughter would say (and has said) similar things about living in the house with me and with her father. Thank you for commenting and understanding. I know even on the family level with parents and kids, only the talking will help, or maybe knowing when to talk haha. I do not always choose the right times. But silence can be deadly.
      Thanks so much.

      Liked by 1 person

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